Hello, I am an Oompa-Loompa - now where is my wedding dress

I said I wouldn't do it, I told my self that I would never fall prey to the pressure to look like one of "those girls."But Liana mentioned doing a shoot with my wedding dress Saturday and all of a sudden I realized that I was the color that I am - white - no tan lines - just the color I was the day I was born............so what do I do...........I folded lawn chair.

I made an appointment to get sprayed with the sugary bronzer that Jason later mentioned smelled like a cigar (not the nasty after been smoked, but the yummy hand rolled ones fresh out of the humidor - or at least I hope that is what he meant)

Let me back up a little and paint a picture for you...as a spray tan newbie there are several customs I was not aware of. I have gone to a spray booth before where you go into a room where only you are and only you can see the choice of clothing you do or do not have on. So as you can imagine when I arrived at the salon and a very unassuming teenage girl tells me that I will have to take my bra off, it caught me off guard. All of a sudden, ignoring this sweet girl when she told me her name seemed like a mistake as I try to make a habit to know that names of the people I disrobe in front of.

After a few minutes of her assuring me that she has seen it all (where is child services!) and that it doesn't matter to her (well, it matters to me) I agreed to stop being so modest and show her the goods for the benefit of my all over even tan.

The end result - after six days of scrubbing, bitching and staring at in the mirror for far too long, the tan is still here and is just now looking somewhat natural. I had the spray-on-tan sprayed on Friday. Saturday was the Wedding Shower where my Aunt Pat made the comment, "You are more olive than that."

I must rethink my pre-wedding beauty regiment.